Rain scares the sugar babies
Heres a thought. Back in the good old elementary days, I had a teacher who would call all the absent kids sugar babies. Why? Easy, they were all sugar cubes that would be afraid to go out cause they would melt in the water. This has stuck in my mind since then. I've always been a fan of the rain. A little water doesn't hurt anyone, unless you have a car accident.
Woke up this morning feeling so low. Not sure why. Perhaps it was last night, when I decided to start this mumbo jumbo bloggin hobby. No, actually it was before when I had a pretty serious conversation with someone. I hate confessions, and I hate hearing the truth. It stings like a bitch. I guess it has to do with the way I really cling on to people I care about. There are many reasons I cling on to people. Maybe because of my childhood and the endless times I spent it alone, or perhaps my parents separation at such a young age. Many factors contribute to that, but no one really cares to know of hear about it, so I'll stop yapping about it now.
Today I took a drive in the rain, and I kept listening to Coldplay. That Chris Martin always has a way with words. I started to think of where will I be a year from now. The future is the most scariest thing I fear currently. I guess thats why my heart cant be at ease with anything.
Ann...that kid is just amazing. We had a scheduled Dr's appt today, but I decided to skip it. Every time we go they just check her vitals and her status. To me she seems a bit happier now. She is trying to eat by mouth, instead of using her NG tube (nasal gastric tube) We only use that tube for medication purposes, as she cant drink thin liquids to to her complete dysphagia. But puree foods are not an issue. Hey, if the kid wants to eat, then I will feed her as long as she can tolerate it. I don't want to deprive her of not tasting food. Yes, she is in hospice, but my duty as a mother is to keep her happy and comfortable. Ann wanted to walk today too. Sadly she doesn't have much motion on her legs but we hold her and try to encourage her to move her feet. She even mentioned school. YUP, Ann wants to go back to school. The home life with Nick Jr is not cutting it for her. She is doing better now. When we started her hospice it was not so peachy. Her breathing was an issue and congestion, and we had some pretty scary times. I even used morphine to help her out. It gets frightening. But now my little fighter has the will to live, she has the desire to go back to her regular life. This tumor has held us prisoner for the last 7 months and counting. IF only it could disappear and give me back my little girl. Sometimes it feels like I'm being robbed from life...I've been robbed and deprived from other things so far and this is just that most difficult thing I've encountered.
Woke up this morning feeling so low. Not sure why. Perhaps it was last night, when I decided to start this mumbo jumbo bloggin hobby. No, actually it was before when I had a pretty serious conversation with someone. I hate confessions, and I hate hearing the truth. It stings like a bitch. I guess it has to do with the way I really cling on to people I care about. There are many reasons I cling on to people. Maybe because of my childhood and the endless times I spent it alone, or perhaps my parents separation at such a young age. Many factors contribute to that, but no one really cares to know of hear about it, so I'll stop yapping about it now.
Today I took a drive in the rain, and I kept listening to Coldplay. That Chris Martin always has a way with words. I started to think of where will I be a year from now. The future is the most scariest thing I fear currently. I guess thats why my heart cant be at ease with anything.
Ann...that kid is just amazing. We had a scheduled Dr's appt today, but I decided to skip it. Every time we go they just check her vitals and her status. To me she seems a bit happier now. She is trying to eat by mouth, instead of using her NG tube (nasal gastric tube) We only use that tube for medication purposes, as she cant drink thin liquids to to her complete dysphagia. But puree foods are not an issue. Hey, if the kid wants to eat, then I will feed her as long as she can tolerate it. I don't want to deprive her of not tasting food. Yes, she is in hospice, but my duty as a mother is to keep her happy and comfortable. Ann wanted to walk today too. Sadly she doesn't have much motion on her legs but we hold her and try to encourage her to move her feet. She even mentioned school. YUP, Ann wants to go back to school. The home life with Nick Jr is not cutting it for her. She is doing better now. When we started her hospice it was not so peachy. Her breathing was an issue and congestion, and we had some pretty scary times. I even used morphine to help her out. It gets frightening. But now my little fighter has the will to live, she has the desire to go back to her regular life. This tumor has held us prisoner for the last 7 months and counting. IF only it could disappear and give me back my little girl. Sometimes it feels like I'm being robbed from life...I've been robbed and deprived from other things so far and this is just that most difficult thing I've encountered.
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