A Lonely Birthday...
This was my post last year via facebook. The day of my birthday last year I found myself taking my Ann to a chemo treatment. That's how we spent the majority of the day. Last year I kept thinking to myself, what if that was the last birthday I was going to celebrate with her? And it was.
Its been a difficult week this past week. I've been having difficulties dealing with the sadness that my birthday brings. Last year I was with Ann, and I remember her telling me happy birthday all day. She was the only person who made me feel special on that day. She would squeeze me with every fiber in her and let the world know it was my birthday. And now a year later I find myself alone sharing these thoughts.
Losing her has been one of the toughest things I've had trouble coping with. It is hard to wrap your head around something of that magnitude, specially if its your only child. Some days I don't have the will to get up and live. To continue my life and deal with it one day at a time. I feel so empty and hallow, and the void is just too big. Not sure how time heals wounds, but one thing is for certain is that time is making the wound bigger. As time goes on I find myself celebrating a firsts of many. They phase me completely. There is never a day that I don't feel the emptiness inside.
Today being my birthday, the pain seeps a little deeper. Its one of those days I wanted to avoid, because the effect of it just kills me.
Dear Ann, I miss you more than ever today. This day means absolutely nothing without you. I love you.
I wish you a lot of courage and love.
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