These wounds won't heal...
Laying in a puddle of tears.
Today I was reminded by my mother, that Ann's 2 year passing anniversary is in a month. A day I would like to forget. A day I was dreading, since her final diagnose was given.
Today, I tried to avoid the sadness at all costs. Then, Elton John's Candle in the Wind song came on at work. The memories flooded like a river. In that instant, I was reminded once again, that I had lost my only child. My precious and innocent daughter, to some terminal brain tumor.
I still can get a grip of the situation. I think to myself, when will the pain go away? It probably never will. There is not one single day that I don't think of her. Recently, I started thinking how she would be today. The things she would tell me. The friends she would have. Her unique sense of fashion, only she created. What would my daughter be like?
All I have are those memories. The endless hospital memories during her last year of life, that seem to haunt me from time to time. I don't want to remember those times. I want to remember the wonderful memories that we created, yet I can't.
I am not at rest. I have yet to put her clothes away from her drawers. I have yet to move her toys. I have yet to find peace within me.
One day. That's all I tell myself, one day we will be together again.
Miss you kiddo.
Today I was reminded by my mother, that Ann's 2 year passing anniversary is in a month. A day I would like to forget. A day I was dreading, since her final diagnose was given.
Today, I tried to avoid the sadness at all costs. Then, Elton John's Candle in the Wind song came on at work. The memories flooded like a river. In that instant, I was reminded once again, that I had lost my only child. My precious and innocent daughter, to some terminal brain tumor.
I still can get a grip of the situation. I think to myself, when will the pain go away? It probably never will. There is not one single day that I don't think of her. Recently, I started thinking how she would be today. The things she would tell me. The friends she would have. Her unique sense of fashion, only she created. What would my daughter be like?
All I have are those memories. The endless hospital memories during her last year of life, that seem to haunt me from time to time. I don't want to remember those times. I want to remember the wonderful memories that we created, yet I can't.
I am not at rest. I have yet to put her clothes away from her drawers. I have yet to move her toys. I have yet to find peace within me.
One day. That's all I tell myself, one day we will be together again.
Miss you kiddo.
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